The fluttering of a dream unfolding..


I have been slacking in regards to blogging and quite honestly I am not sure where to begin..
I have flown first class; I have received the warm washcloths to..??..wipe my hands?..my face..?..I chose to stick with the hands. I have sat for 24 hours, at a table, filming a scene with Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis. (Both of whom I now adore!) I have introduced my mother to Mark Wahlberg–I don’t think my sister will ever forgive that one! He chatted with her about Philadelphia and she called him, “Cutie.” I have been assigned a trailer with its’ own t.v, refrigerator, bathroom and couch. I have been primmed and propped by a wonderfully talented crew of hair and make-up artists, who make sure I look as the character of Tami-Lynn should look! I get my breakfast order taken by Elliot or Mike in the mornings and five minutes later my half-coffee/half-organic soy milk arrives in my hands. I have dined at a fine dining sushi restaurant with the director of photography, Seth MacFarlane’s chef–who I have come to LOVE, and the first camera man, Alan! I have sat a table and drank wine with the great Seth MacFarlane himself along with his astonishingly funny cast.
I do admit that there are moments where I have to steal away some seconds for myself so I am able to catch my breath and remind myself that this is, in fact happening, and that I do, in fact, deserve this and that this is what it feels like to have your dream unfolding right before your very eyes.
I have to say that this is beyond surreal. I can hardly wrap my head around any of it so, I fall back on my bookshelves upon bookshelves of self-help, new-agey, positive thinking resources to wade me through the waters of doubt.
Even as success stares me in the face, eats lunch with me at craft service or talks with me about his upcoming movie in PHILADELPHIA..I have to remind myself that I have worked my ENTIRE life for these such moments.
I am eternally and forever grateful for the EXTRAORDINARY experiences that I am now receiving and I pray every day that I never get jaded about the little things. Those little moments that most people miss. The view from my hotel window overlooking Boston, the call when they wanted to upgrade me to a suite and me not fully understanding what that meant until I walked through the door to find the entire city of Boston rooftops staring back at me. The feeling of the terrycloth robe and slippers, the taste of a 25 dollar glass of wine that was paid for by a per diem. Because, not only am I experiencing all of these wonderfully astounding opportunities that at one time, only existed in my dreams, I am also getting paid for this! People are actually paying me to spend my days talking rap and nude scenes with Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis!?
The only thing I could do to feel deserving of all of this was WORK MY ASS OFF and make sure I did the best job I could possibly do! I am not sure I have ever prepared as much I have for this role. I studied every mannerism, every inflection, every intonation of dialect. I watched movies, I coached, I meditated on the characters’ wants, needs and desires–and I HAD A BALL DOING IT!
The highlight of my entire career happened last week. The production flew my husband out to Boston and he was able to watch the filming all day long. This particular day was all my coverage so, I couldn’t have asked for a better day for him to be there.
Watching his face warmed my heart and reminded me why I married him–not that I had forgotten: ) There was a ton of dialogue that was added towards the end of my scene a few days before and I couldn’t have been more excited! The words that come out of my character’s mouth are insanely funny!
So, Mark, Mila and myself are acting all day long with an imaginary bear and now comes my close-up. We did the scene in segments and, at one point, Mila had to look away from me because she was laughing so hard. It took everything in my body to maintain composure but at the same time, I was giddy with joy because it reminded me of every blooper reel that I had seen since I first watched the Carol Burnett show, as a kid. Bloopers were always my favorite part of any show or movie and here I was becoming A PART of the bloopers for a major motion picture in Hollywood! I was beside myself.
They had me do the whole scene all the way through and when I finished and the director yelled cut..everyone clapped. I had never felt anything like it. I looked over and Mark and Mila were clapping their hands together with big smiles on their faces. I had no words. I sat back down with a smile on my face and said, “Thank you.”
I really wanted to cry or jump up and down, or at the very least kiss Mark Wahlberg’s face! : ) But, I simply mouthed the words thank you and prayed to the gods of the butterflies inside my stomach that they not flutter too much in fear I might lose my half-organic soy milk latte in the trash can beside me! Ah yes..Life is good. : )

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5 thoughts on “The fluttering of a dream unfolding..

  1. Theresa Flerx says:

    I’ve been wondering how it has been going. Thanks so much for sharing your dream. Can’t wait to see the finished product. Mom, Shawna and I WILL be watching Ted in the theater to laugh and cheer .

  2. lorie says:

    You couldnt be more deserving !!!! I loved reading and hearing about your experiences in Boston.So happy for you and so proud of you.

  3. Ellen Byars says:

    Babe I am SO excited for you. My mom and I read this post together. We laughed and got misty for you. I’m so proud of you. You have indeed been working for this for so long. Soak up every minute and continue to stay present. It’s your turn to shine (as you once said to me). I love you so much!

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