The price of fame–or at least the price for the search of fame!

Uploaded pictures to Actors Access: $40

Reproductions of favorite headshot plus postcards: $175.00 -with %10 discount

Pursuing your dream: Priceless

AHAHHAAA…yes, I went there.  For those of you who don’t have a clue as to what any of this means, I shall enlighten you!  Reproductions is the name of the headshot place I go to on Cahuenga Blvd. that reproduces my pictures.  Actors need multiple hard copies of their head shot to give to their agents and managers; any one who is submitting them for roles.  As an actor, you also need copies to bring with you to any audition you go on, whether commercially or theatrically.

Now, the commercial world is moving a little quicker in terms of technology and has liquidated us all down to a simple barcode which could be seen as insulting or just plain efficient.  I am going with efficient.  Because, one of the worst things that can happen, and may have just happened to me two days ago, is when you arrive at an audition, reach into your back seat where you keep your box of updated headshots, resumes and a stapler  to find nothing but an old headshot of you that was probably taken your freshman year of college stapled to an old resume, splattered with stains that you hope to god is Red Bull, that only has make believe credits printed on the back.  Yes, I lied when I first got out here.  Judge me.

You couldn’t look any more unprofessional.  You say to yourself, “Oh, they probably won’t need it!  They have that fancy barcode system, now.  I’m fine.”  You walk into the office, trying not to be nervous because you are an unprepared asshole.  You sign in, the casting assistant smiles-which is always a good sign, “Are you Jessica?”

“Yes,” you reply.

“Great.  You’re on deck.” (meaning I am next-awesome, that was quick!)

“Perfect.”  I am in the clear.

“Can I take your headshot?”

Fuck!!!!!

“Oh..I left it..actually, the only one I have is this VERY, VERY, old–

“I’ll tell them you don’t have one.”

“No, but I do!  I do have one, it’s just that I’ve been meaning to get to Reproductions–

She could give a shit.  I see this and yet I can’t stop my mouth from moving.  Mother of god..is this my first audition????

“I’m sure you will be fine.”

Really??  Are ya sure I’ll be fine, Casting Assistant?  Because I am sure I will not be fine!

Trust me.  You will not book this role.  You are unprepared.  You procrastinated.  So you really don’t even deserve this role, do you?  You start making up excuses in your head as to why you are more deserving than Prepared Girl #34.  “I bet she never had to pay for groceries with food stamps while her seventh grade lab partner was working the check out line!”

Trust me people.  This is not a road you want to go down.

Spare yourself the melodrama and ALWAYS, ALWAYS, have plenty of updated headshots and resumes on hand.

It’s just better that way.

http://www.reproductions.com/LA/index.html

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One thought on “The price of fame–or at least the price for the search of fame!

  1. kriss says:

    you just filled me with so much jr. high anxiety that i feel the need to run out right now and get headshots done and keep 1,000 copies in my backseat. you know, for all those auditions i go to in jersey.

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